DS Review: 12

Well now, here's an interesting little oddity of the DS game line if ever I saw one! It's entitled, quite simply, 12. Given the cover, I thought it must be a cheap Japanese release that got a US translation. Guess what? It's LICENSED BY NINTENDO. Wowwwww. If I didn't hold it in my hands rightn ow, I'd probably doubt this game's existence, as even just finding a photo of the cover for this review was like pulling teeth.

Even with a name so obvious as 12, it's rather vague and ambiguous - you don't really know what exactly you're geting. I, personally, was immediately thrown back to the mid-1990's; the era where the keychain digital pets prevailed. There was one in particular that I had which was a 12-in-1 pet, and the cover of this reminds me greatly of the box from that. I digress.

I can't quite decide if I love or hate this little game. In a way, it also reminds me of the oldschool computer games, those Klik n Play games that seemed to come as demo versions with all sorts of titles, but did anybody ever really buy them? These have a very strong vibe of those. The graphics are not very good; not horrible, but not good. Very simplistic as though this were intended for a toddler to play, even though these clearly weren't. The music, also, is almost gratingly annoying after about 30 seconds of listening to it. My suggestion is either turn your volume off on your DS, crank some music, or both. ;)

The opening menu itself already further perpetuates the true vagueness of this game. You appear to have a telephone touchpad (plus asterisk and pound signs, and a call sign and wrench symbol for options). There's no explanation. Just "press any button!". Um....okay. 1 seems like a good place to start...

I suppose the best way to review such a game as this would be to address each individual mini-game that this title comprises of, so here goes:

Lolli Rolling - .....Okay, unless "Lolli" also means "mouse" or something in Japan, I have a feeling that the Japanese have a lot of explaining to do here. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, just look up "lolita complex" on Google.) This game....it's very strange. You're controlling a little mouse who balances on top of a ball while juggling about 6 balls at the same time. (Oh Mr. Kruk, I'm having flashbacks to 8th grade gym class with you.) You mustn't let the mouse's ball hit any object on the floor, lest you fall and lose a life. At the same time, depending upon the speed you chose to play this game at, you'll have a row of letters scrolling down the right side of the screen. You have to hit the button on your DS that correllates with each letter in perfect timing with this, or else you'll drop one of your juggling balls. Lose all your lives, and it's game over. The oddity here is that upon game over, you put in your name in the oldschool arcade game high score table fashion, which doesn't make a lot of sense when chances are that you'll be the only one playing this game in the first place.

Fun Fishing - Despite the almost alarmingly low quality of graphics here, this is actually a pretty decent little game. I'm not quite certain if it would stand up to being its own release should the graphic qualitiy be improved upon, but if this were back in the GBA days, I have a feeling it could have easily held its own. It's surprisingly complex for such a simplistic game. It's exactly what it sounds like, a fishing game. The graphics look as thought they were pulled directly from a GBA Pokemon game. But there's various locations, different types of fish, all sorts of different items to stock up with at the market that affect your fishing capability, earned money from catching and selling each fish..... I could see where this easily could become quite an addictive little game!

FillLove - This game is somewhat like a vaguely date simulated based Dr. Mario premise...minus the pills. But the gameplay is about identical. There isn't much to say here. I thought the game was fairly boring.

Dice - I don't quite understand what you're supposed to do here. The game seems to be a weird hybrid of dice, dominos, and tetris. The problem with this entire game is that none of these games give you any directions on what you're supposed to do; they only give you the controls. Dislike.

Test Grill - I'm not sure if it was intentional or not, but this game is a prime example of Engrish at its best. Practically every sentence is in SUCH broken english. The game, once you figure out what you're supposed to be doing, is actually pretty fun. You place as many pieces of food onto the board as you can fit, trying to crowd out the other player. You then eat your food as quickly as possible before it burns, or else you just wasted precious time and points. It's a little more complicated than it sounds.

Egg Adventure - This is one of the oddest platform games I think I've ever seen. You play the role of an egg that has to travel throughout level to level, trying to get back to its nest. You throw hay at enemies. You cannot jump. What sort of game is this?! I also cannot STAND how slowly the game moves on top of everything else. Next...

Mr. Oil - I'm quite confused by this game as well. It appears that you try to maneuver a hobo around to collect bottles to exchange for money while avoiding a bloodthirsty dog. ....Yeah, I don't get the point of this either.

Match 2 - Was there a Match 1? Regardless, this isn't your typical 'tap and match 2 cards' matching game. I think it might be match 3....although I can't seem to get past the first level, no matter what I do. Very confusing...

Bang Bang Balloon - This is basically a fancy worldwide dart-throwing competition. You stand on top of a platform while a friend inflates and releases helium balloons, and your aim is to hit as many balloons as possible. Reach the pre-determined score, and you'll move on to the next country's competition. However, for every balloon that you miss, you lose as many points as you would have gained. This isn't much of a problem the first few rounds, but it quickly becomes one when the speed increases and it's harder and harder to get the correct rhythm down. (I made it to Paris, for anyone interested.)

Moon - I have no idea why this is even titled Moon. Basically, you run aronud, tooting on a horn to wake up sleeping mice and guide them back to their mousehole. But watch out! A sneaky cat is on the prowl, looking to make away with a mouse if you don't scare it away. As you level up, the cat remains the same, but the mice change into different items or animals to match the background. It's very weird.

Kuo - Of course, we couldn't have a multi mini game extravaganza without a mindless shooter, now could we? *eyeroll* You're firing from a sea turtle at anything that hurtles your way in the ocean. That's about it. Real exciting, right?

Buffy Racing 2 - The Japanese certainly try to make anything sound cute, don't they? Here's a hint: buffalos aren't cute. Nor by calling them "buffies" will you make them cute. It's more of a horseracing type thing where you pick your buffalo and hope it's the fastest.


Overall......this game, unless you're about 5 years old, is probably not even worth wasting your time on, in my opinion. None of it is particularly grabbing or fantastic (the fishing game was the closest) and it seems more like a time waster if anything. Not even a time killer...time waster. This one gets a 4 out of 10 ninja stars.